Suddenly, those moments come. They seem perfect and you feel blessed. Some of the reasons you can see, others are out of sight or touch but you know they are part of it. The feeling is one of total blessedness. You thank God and wonder whom else you must or would like to thank. You feel the need to say thank you. It happened for me on Monday, carried over into Tuesday. Thank you, Lord, but what does it mean? What do you want me to do about it? The Holy Spirit allowed some suggestions to come to my mind and I followed them. I had to share my gratitude.
Part of it was the realisation that I am now in the second phase of my life. I know that I probably don’t have more than 70 more years to live. The first 80 were wonderful; I must hope the next 70 or so will be equally blessed.
I can’t repeat. What has been and is can prepare for the newness of what will be – with its fulfilments, surprises, sorrows, new memories, happiness. The next 70 cannot be happier (I think!) than the previous 80, and I hope I am good enough to carry that happiness: I trust God will bless me to accept whatever comes. I am overwhelmed by these past 80 and can only look forward to the next 70. Then heaven. Couldn’t ask for more. Heaven, and the whole wonderful pattern will become clear.
Selfish, so selfish and self-centred. Pretending to be happy when the world is sorrowing in war, hatreds, hunger, racial and religious tensions, cancer, ebola, poverty, broken lives and homes, cruelty and injustice.
I know, and I agree. I don’t understand why I should have felt so happy when I am aware of so much suffering – but I was overwhelmed with a feeling of happiness. I don’t deny the suffering but neither can I deny truth. A moment of great happiness. It was a gift. I didn’t look for it, it came and I am grateful: but I am still fully aware of the suffering of our world. I wish I could share my happiness there.
How about you?
God bless you,
Fr John
(28th July 2019)
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